Black Swan: Worst Best Film Nominee I’ve Ever Seen

We watched Black Swan the other night.

This film was nominated for 5 Academy Awards, and won 62 other awards.

Are you kidding me?

Yes, the cinematography was good. Yes, Natalie Portman was very good. And yes, I like all 5 stars: Natalie Portman, Vincent Cassel, Mila Kunis, Barbara Hershey and Winona Ryder.

Even so, holy crap is this film overrated. We weren’t more than 10 minutes into it before one of us asked if we should turn it off.

The plot is one-dimensional: obsessed artist becomes more obsessed. The portrayal is scattershot: volatile, clipped, scenes that leave the viewer guessing what is real and what is not. But it isn’t clear why I should care? It isn’t because the protagonist is appealing. It isn’t because the story line is attractive. And am I really supposed to think the show won’t go on?

I like Natalie Portman a lot. But, let’s face it: she got a Best Actress because 1) she’s deserved one for a while, 2) she learned to dance for the role, 3) the role is about a crazy person, 4) she takes her clothes off, and 5) she simulates orgasm.

I haven’t paid attention, but I sure hope South Park, Family Guy, or The Simpsons has done a parody of this.

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Comments

[Alan]

Portman deserved an Oscar for The Professional (Leon), and for Beautiful Girls, but she has just become a worse actress as she has aged. Black Swan was a laughable effort.

[Dave Tufte]

I've liked Natalie Portman since I first saw The Professional on cable; I thought of mentioning The Professional in this post ... but so few people have seen it (or remember it after so many years).

[Alan]

Anyone who has ever seen The Professional will surely remember it. Jean Reno was also brilliant. And Gary Oldman! What a cast.
But it is the Natalie Portman of Beautiful Girls who totally captivated me; she so had Tim Hutton drawn in and I was with him!

[Dave Tufte]

Gee ... two recommendations for "Beautiful Girls" ... and Netflix is streaming it. I'm there.