I wouldn’t go out of my way watch the new Fantastic Four when it comes out on TV. But I also didn’t sit through a 2 hour movie agonizing to run for the door.
Admittedly, I am getting really tired of over-the-top special effects in movies, and especially over-the-top fight sequences. And I do like that … you know … dialogue and plot and … stuff.
But, everyone else outside my family seems to hate it. And I’ll have to say I like this io9 post better than the movie.
I wonder if I’ve actually been to more science fairs than the people who wrote the snarky post:
Teacher: Even though I am apparently judging this science fair, I know nothing about science and thus have to assume you used magic to make that kid’s toy disappear. I have to disqualify you, because you are obviously a witch.
I actually think that pretty much covers most of the science fair judges I’ve talked to. They seem to be really big on experiments involving milk, bananas, and paper towels.
This is when I figured I’d go to the bathroom (which I hate doing in movies):
Ben Grimm: Um, does anyone realize we’re 45 minutes into a 105-minute movie and we don’t even have our powers yet?
Yes, I got back before they did anything.
And I was scratching my head at this point:
Ben Grimm: And, in 2015, we are really going to keep the one female character in the group sidelined? Do you not see the problem here?
Of course, I’m not sure which is worse, diminishing a female character that’s actually in the source material, or adding one that isn’t there (as in The Hobbit disasters).
I’m not actually that familiar with the source material, but I did think during the movie that this was a pointless addition:
Dr. Tim Blake Nelson: Ben, we want you to murder people for the U.S. military.
Ben Grimm: Of course you do. Sure, why not? I just loved the storyline in the Fantastic Four comics where the Thing joined the army and started killing enemy combatants with his bare hands oh wait I didn’t because NOTHING LIKE THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED IN FANTASTIC FOUR.
Do screenwriters actually know how not to use this plot device? Just wondering.
I did not make this connection, but boy do I wish I was this sharp:
Sue Storm: So this is my scene? I just look pensively at a lot of computer monitors to find Reed?
Man in Authority: Yes.
Sue Storm: You realize that not only did I not get to go to the other dimension, but my job on the projects was making the environment suits? Making clothes? For the men?
I did catch this one, and it bugged me during the movie:
Scientist #1: Okay, no one act even slightly surprised or concerned that there is something living on this alien planet in another dimension.
Scientist #2: Hey, it’s that Doom kid! And his face looks like a bootleg action figure!
Scientist #1: Let’s take him back to Earth.
(later, back at the base)
Doom: Hey! I gotta get back to my planet!
Dr. Tim Blake Nelson: Then why’d you even walk up to the scientists in the first place?
Doom: Shut up. (Dr. Tim Blake Nelson’s head explodes)
Doom: The world is bad so I’m going to destroy it! (everybody’s heads explode, Doom goes back to Planet Zero)
Why is it that movies have to tell you how awful everything is on Earth. Is it because … they’re not? Think about it: the Fantastic Four comics were written within a couple years of the Cuban Missile Crisis. Now that sucked.
There are lots of good bits in the original that I didn’t quote. Check it out.